Wow, so, after a rough start trying to get through the many pie charts and psychological terminology of the introduction, I'm happy to say that it still continues through the chapter on the first habit!
*Groan* But I'm still reading, because I said I would do it and I'm going to see it through because I'm stubborn and because I spent $9 on it for my kindle copy. I'm going to finish it gosh darn it!
I will say one thing is that there were more stories in this chapter than the last. So the information was easier to take in, at least for me. I like examples. It helps put everything into perspective.
So what is the first habit?
TO BE PROACTIVE!
Now, first I should go through that pretty much the book is set up around the seven habits. The first three are more private. They are meant to work on creating habits that help develop our private skills. The next three are more about public victories, or skills that are used to develop public habits. And the seventh one is to help maintain all of these skills.
So, with that explained, this and the next two habits will be focused on what we can do for ourselves to become less of a victim and have more of a positive influence on our lives.
And the first way is to be proactive. But what does that mean? Mainly that we alone are responsible for our own lives, and make our own values. So long story short? That everything that happens to us is either good or bad because of how we react to it, not by what it is.
So wait, even if something really horrible happens then it's either good or bad by how you react? Isn't just bad because it's bad?
Well, yes, I agree there are some horrible things that have happened in many lives. There are also some great things as well. But even the horrible things can be overcome by how you view the situation. The wonderful example that Stephen Covey gave which not only allowed this concept to hit me like a lightning bolt, but it also touched my heart deeply.
He told the story of Viktor Frankl. Now he's not a household name, but he should be. He was a Jewish psychiatrist who was imprisoned in the death camps of Nazi Germany. He went through extreme amounts of torture. He had everyone in his family, except his sister, die in that concentration camp. He was beaten and abused and lived through a hell that many of us can't even imagine, and don't want to. But, as he later tells in his autobiography, when he was beaten and made to sit naked in a cold room to await more torture he realized that they could beat him, abuse him, and even kill him, but they couldn't take away his ability to change the situation with his mind. They couldn't control his thoughts. And so he decided he would live. And not only that he would live, but every time that he was tortured, every time he faced death, every time he found out that someone else he loved was gone, he would set up a lesson plan in his head on how he would teach a class on what he learned from this experience. And when he did get out, he not only taught those lessons but also wrote about them. But, most of all, he used his proactive mind to take a horrible situation and make it into something productive and saved his life.
I remember reading that and realizing that if I think any of my problems are not surmountable, I should think again! Because this man proves the point, nothing can hurt you if you don't let it. Of as Eleanor Roosevelt states "No one can hurt you without your consent." I love that quote.
Now Covey does go into many details and flow charts and circle charts and formulas to try to emphasize this point. And I guess repetition is a good thing when you are trying to learn a new habit. But I think that this story alone is enough for me to realize that there is nothing that can hurt me unless I let it. That there is nothing that can stop me unless I let it. It all is in how I view and react to the situation. And even if there are things out of my control, that's ok. Because everything I can control and do, I'll do in a proactive way.
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