Suffering And Happiness....

..... can't have one without the other!

WHAT!?!?!

Yep, you heard me right. But let me explain.

So as I'm hurrying to finish up "The Art of Happiness" before this month is done IN FIVE DAYS!!!  How did that happen!  But I'm determined to do it!

But I did want to talk about a huge section of this book that is called "Transforming Suffering".  And I found this section, by far, to be the most interesting.

Now I for one, when reading this section, went in with the thought process that suffering and happiness should not go together.  In fact I thought that happiness was the absence of suffering.  And I think many of you could agree with that.  But how wrong I was.

As I read this section, and became more and more interested and surprised by what was being said, I found that happiness isn't about the absence of suffering, but about how we react to suffering.  And just to show it, here is a quote from the Dalai Lama himself on this subject.

"Our attitude towards suffering becomes very important because it can affect how we cope with suffering when it arises... However if we can transform our attitude towards suffering, adopt an attitude that allows us greater tolerance of it, then this can do much to help counteract feelings of mutual unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and discontent."  pg. 140

Now, of course, when any person faces any form of suffering, whether it's banging your knee or a death of a loved one, the first reaction is a combination of anger, sadness, and a bit of "Why me!".  And then, depending on the severity of the suffering, depends on whether these emotions stay for a long time or not. And what the Dalai Lama suggests is that if you react in a positive way to your suffering, then you won't suffer as much and, in turn, become happy sooner.

Now I know, it sounds strange.  I thought it was strange, and completely backwards.  If there is suffering in your life, then there is not much you can do it.  And I guess in that I am right.  What is later explained in this section is that, no matter what, there will be suffering in your life.  It's just the way it is.  As long as you can feel anger, and pain, and sadness, you will suffer.  Mainly because as a physical living being, there is no avoiding anger, pain, or sadness.  I know, a completely dour outlook on life.  But, figuring this out, it then becomes clear what the Dalai Lama is saying.  If, as he says it, life is suffering, then the only way you can achieve true happiness is by reacting to this suffering in a positive manner.

But how is that done?

I was personally confused with this.  And was having a hard time with it, until he came upon something that I could agree with.  Not that I couldn't agree with other things, but this came up and I found that it all made sense.  But this time it wasn't from the words of the Dalai Lama, but from the book "The Third Man" by Graham Green.

"In Italy for thirty years under the Borgais, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed- but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and the Renaissance.  In Switzerland, they have brotherly love, five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce?  The cuckoo clock."

Ok, I know what you're thinking, why this quote? 

Well it's because it shows that a life without suffering has no advancement.  If you really think about it, if we lived our entire lives with no pain, no anger, no sadness, then we wouldn't experience joy, happiness, love, peace.  We wouldn't think about how to make things better, how to deal with our suffering.  In fact there would be no reason to do anything, because there would be no suffering.

And that is what Michelangelo and Leonardo Da Vinci did during great chaos and suffering.  They changed the world.  And they did that by not being consumed by that suffering, but changing it by viewing what was possible in life and changing art and science for the human race.

And it's that I can relate to.  The concept that you can either let suffering bring you down, and wallow in it, thinking that it shouldn't be happening to you.  Or, admit that you are suffering, but that you won't let it bring you down, and that you will take the lessons you'll learn from this suffering to make your life, and possibly other lives, better.

Though there are many points made in this section, the main thing is that your perception of the suffering in your life determines your happiness in life.  If you hold onto that suffering, replaying it in your mind over and over again, and thinking about how horrible this person or this situation is, you won't find peace or happiness.  But if you accept that the suffering is happening, realize how or why it's happening, and then you can figure out what you can do to bring your suffering to a positive light for yourself and others.

In this way a life with suffering can still be a happier life.

An enemy can become a teacher.

And a painful experience can open up change in your life for the better.

Though I know it won't be easy, I'm glad to have this new view on suffering and happiness.  And I hope it helps you all as well.

Five more days to go!  Gonna get it done!