So How Do You Attain Happiness?

That mainly is the point of this book.  Figuring out the "Art of Happiness".

And that must be a huge thing to figure out.  Mainly because each person in the world probably has their own completely separate idea of what happiness truly is.  And then they have their own ideas on how to attain that happiness.  So that's a lot more information than can fit in a 312 page book. 

Yet, by page 52, it seems that the Dalai Lama gives us that answer.  And it certainly blew my mind.

We often view happiness as getting the things that we want, doing the things that we love, and not having any worries about getting everything we need.  Well, at least that seems to be the general gist of it.

But what if I told you that to truly be happy is to appreciate what you have.

But wait!  What do you mean?!?!?  But I know I'll be truly happy if I had that job, or lived in that new house, or had that car, or had a significant other..... ect. 

And I have to admit, even I'm having a hard time with this concept.  There are plenty of things I desire in my life right now.  Things that I think will make me a happy person.  I would like not to be in debt any more.  I wish to move to a lovely farmhouse on several acres of land to farm.  And I've been trying to get pregnant without success for some time, so it would be wonderful to be pregnant.  And maybe also be rich and lose some weight and be able to travel everywhere.  Then I can be happy. 

Or, I can just appreciate who I am, where I am, and what I have.

Yeah, right.

But then again, would I really be happy with all that, if I don't have the mindset of happiness first?

"We don't need more money, we don't need greater success or fame, we don't need the perfect body or even the perfect mate- RIGHT NOW, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness." 

So really, what the Dalai Lama is saying, is that happiness starts with your mind, not with what you have, who you are, or what you get.

And even though I could argue "But when I get rich, pregnant, move, ect...... I'll be happier."  And probably, when those things do happen, I'll be happy in that moment.  But, like I stated in the my post on Sunday, my happiness would level out again.  And I've realized that is happening  in my own life today.  My husband has a very successful law practice, and I am so proud of him.  And he's been doing better and better each year he's worked with it.  So it should be that we are happy financially and don't have any worries.  I mean it was so financially hard for us between law school and my husband passing the bar.  So we must be celebrating and living the high life and be very happy.  And we're happy, but we are also feeling the same stress about money that we did before.  Which makes no sense whatsoever. With more money we should be more happy and less stressed right?  Well it would seem to be the opposite.  Yes we are happy, but we also find ourselves stressed trying to make sure the money goes to where we need it.  And of course more expenses come up the larger your business grows.

So, as I thought of this, I began to realize that, even though we've got more money, like we wanted to, it doesn't mean that my happiness is higher or that our stress level is lower.  Now we have new stresses to worry about, and in turn we are just as happy as we were before the business took off.

So maybe the Dalai Lama is right.  Maybe the cause of true happiness is the appreciation of what you have, without the comparison of what others have achieved, or the use of excess or greed. 

So to attain happiness you must train the mind to not only appreciate what you have but also be compassionate with others and yourself.

But it's not as easy as it seems. Alright it doesn't even seem easy.  But, as the Dalai Lama teaches us, it takes discipline to have mind seek positive emotions and desires, like kindness and compassion, which will help us attain true happiness, rather than going after negative emotions and desires, like greed and jealousy, which often seem to be the easier route.  And to achieve this the mind must learn which is the positive way and which is the negative way.

And that takes time.  And it also takes many different approaches and methods.  As the Dalai says "You don't take just one kind of vitamin to make your whole body healthy.  You take several different vitamins to balance your body and make it healthy."  So there really isn't one way to look at this, or do this.  And it takes time.  It doesn't happen over night.

And that's why I decided on my first activity, talked about in my previous post.  I'm hoping that does train the mind to attain happiness, or at least get me out of the negative thoughts I have at times about myself and the world.

I know this for sure, if I can be happy now with what I have right this moment, than I can certainly be happy when I get everything I want and more.